Monday, 30 December 2013

Waiting is so hard...

Wait on the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14

Little One, you will soon learn, that your mama is not so good at waiting. But today, today was especially hard. I was supposed to get a call this morning telling me what my combined blood results are, which will give me an idea of the odds of you have down syndrome or another trisomy.  I was hoping for any number bigger than 1:150 because any lower number than that makes me high risk. I was mentally preparing myself for the fact that its not going to be a comfortable number like 1:2000... but maybe, just maybe 1:200 - I would be so happy with that number, even though its still lower than most. 

Half the day went by and they still hadn't rung, so I rang them. The midwife said my results weren't in yet, but that she would ring me back as soon as they arrived. She did ring back not long after. 


I could hardly believe I heard right. Our odds cant be that high. surely. I couldn't get off the phone fast enough. I needed to cry. I had so hoped for better for you. I am heartbroken. I know that God has you in the palm of His hands, and I need to entrust you to Him. Its so hard to do! 

Oscar must have known how upset I was, because he came and cuddled us both, it made me smile and cheered me right up!

Your Daddy is my encourager always. He keeps telling me that we dont have enough to go on to be worried, and this could all mean nothing. So I cling to his words, and to Gods promises that He knows the plans He has for you! 

I love you little bean! 
Love, Mama


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