Sunday, 16 February 2014

Halfway and kicking!

Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength! Nehemiah 8:10

Malakai! We are halfway!! Way-to-go little man! That's quite the milestone!

This week was also the first time I caught your little kicks on camera. They are very little, but they are indeed there! You never stop kicking.... its constant! I even caught a game of poke on camera...I poke and you kick... I love it!

You are gonna be one active little boy, I can tell! I don't think anyone is quite as excited as I am about your kicking... but that's ok :) Every kick brings a smile to my face! Everytime I tell your daddy that you kicked me, he says 'thats ma boy!' - He thinks he is so funny!

Everyone notices my belly now, so I get lots of questions about you. Sometimes I don't know what to say. People ask me about how sick I feel, or if I hate any food or smells. This all seems so trivial to me when I am constantly thinking about all the possible problems you could have with your health. No-one seems to want to talk about the fact that you could have downs syndrome. And almost everyone brushes this away. Like mass denial. People tell me not to think about something that might not even happen. But how can I not think about it. Your'e my little boy, I want to be ready for you in every way I can. I want to help you as much as I can! I need to know that I have prepared as best I can for my child. I think some people see this as dwelling on the negative.

I know there is still every chance that your'e just fine. But its so hard to process all the what ifs! Trying so hard to hand it all over to God every day.

I love you little man!


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