Your First Month!

Little Squishy Man!

You are one month old! The days turned into weeks and just flew by! I cant believe we have been blessed with you - you are simply wonderful! And you are growing fast!

Psalms 127:3 - 'Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him!'

How beautifully accurate that is - You are a blessing and reward! After all our worries while you were still in my tummy, we are all the more aware of how much of a gift each day is. Each one is a blessing that we will never take for granted.... I have enjoyed every moment of being your Mama!
Its been such an adventure already! You made us parents for the first time and its been so much crazy fun!  I have loved watching you grow this month. You are more and more awake - you smile in your sleep ALL the time - and you laugh in your sleep too! I need to get this on video!

You love to bath, its your absolute favorite thing to do, well, that and eat! You eat and eat and eat - much like your dad! Last week you weighed in at 9lbs 5oz! You have had so many visitors and you love being passed around for cuddles. :)

You pull some absolutely cracking faces...some great scowls! I think you take after your Daddy in this respect, he is forever pulling faces!

You are such a great baby for us too - you eat well, rarely cry, sleep soundly & you are very sociable :) We so enjoy unwrapping the gift that is Malakai, slowly getting to know your character and the little boy that God made you to be!

I cant wait to see what the next month has in store for us! I only wish time would slow down! Loving all these moments!

My favorite part of being your mum so far - all the little froggy snuggles, you scrunch into a teeny little ball on my chest, right near my heart! I love the way you sleep with your little mouth open. I love your newborn smell, and all that downy hair. I treasure our middle-of-the-night feeds! Daddy loves your little yawn... he turns to mush every time!

Keep growing little man of mine! I love you!

A New Creation!

Dear Malakai Daniel,

Today you were born. It seems funny that you have been alive for so long and yet there is a big difference between eagerly awaiting you when you are tucked away in your momma's tummy and when we can hold you in our arms! Your momma and your daddy wanted to tell you a little bit about how we felt today, so here goes.

Daddy:

Hey kid! This day was such an amazing day in so many ways but the first thing I want you to know about it is how I felt the first time I saw you take your first breathe. I'm sure your momma will tell you lots about what it was like for her, but just before you arrived, we were very nervous. We were in an operating theatre, with no guarantee that you would be able to be born any time soon, or whether the doctors would need to rescue you. So then, when you appeared and were handed to us by the doctor, it was a combination of shock, disbelief, bewilderment and excitement. You were a very grey colour and you hadn't started to breathe at this point. Though we knew that this was normal, we were worried; and when the doctors said they wanted to take you to the resuscitation area, we were panicking even more! All this was within the first 20 seconds of you appearing from inside your mum, and the midwife whisked you off, through a door, leaving us feeling bewildered and scared. All the doctors kept telling us that this happens all the time, and some babies can take over a minute to start breathing by themselves, but we didn't know what to think. After so many worries about your health throughout the pregnancy, we had no idea if your little heart would be able to cope doing it's job, or if any of the markers we'd been told about may point to a problem that could mean your life could be in danger before it even begins.

So I was stood next to your momma, seeing the worry on her face as she is desperate to hear your cries from the other side of the door.

Then we heard the most joyful scream we had ever heard in our lives. I left your momma for a few minutes, walked through the door and right in front of me I saw this...

You were filling your little lungs and yelling for all you were worth as the tears filled my eyes. The doctor was telling me that you were fine, and that you had started breathing all by yourself a few seconds after you left the room, but I wasn't listening. All I felt was this.

Thank you, LORD, for bringing our son to us!

There was so much relief felt by your momma and I, knowing that God had graciously answered our prayers. We knew that all we wanted was for you to be alive, and if you were healthy as well then that would be a bonus. However we also knew that God is sovereign over both life and death. God never promised to answer our prayers, but he always promises to hear them. And by his grace, here you are.

Remember, my son, that every day that you have on this Earth is a gift from God, the giver of Life, and therefore we all have a responsibility to give God the glory for that life that he has given us.

I thank God for every moment that we have with you, and EVEN MORE than that, I thank Him for Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. Jesus knows what it is like to be a baby, like you are now. He knows what it is like to be hungry, to cry, to feel love. He has experienced every aspect of human life that you will go through, and He was willing to suffer the most horrible death imaginable to save you.

For Christ died for sins, once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. 1 Peter 3:18

Momma:

My Lil man, 

Today was your birthday. After a long labour, you came into this world in a way that was so dramatic. Every second was a real test of faith, much like my pregnancy had been. I had been so focussed and determined to get you out safely, but all the while, I knew that it would only be by God's grace and goodness that I would get to hold you alive! 

First time I laid eyes on you!

Through tears I finally saw you as you were placed on my chest... all I could see was how grey you looked. I stroked your little thigh. So tiny and perfect, but you looked so lifeless and I was terrified. I don't recall much of what was being said, but I do remember asking over and over if you were ok. The Dr said she wanted you taken away, and I was scared. You still hadn't made a sound or taken a breath. As they whisked you away I cried and cried. Soon everyone was commenting that they could hear your screams, but I couldn't hear you. I made daddy go and see you. Not long after, he came back, crying and telling me you were perfect, and ALIVE! He kept hugging me and crying, he was so happy that you were ok. I sent him back to be with you, and that's when he returned with you in his arms. The single most breathtaking sight of my life, seeing him holding you, you were screaming! 

You were given to me again, but this time you were far from lifeless...you grabbed my finger and clung to it. I will never forget the relief I felt, seeing you so full of colour, and so alert! I was so grateful to God. I never wanted to let you go again. Looking at you, everything felt calm.... This verse flooded me:

"Be still and know, that I am God!" Psalm 46:10

All the way up to your birth, daddy and I had talked about every scenario. How we would respond if you were not OK. If you would need heart surgery. If you would need to be taken to NICU. If you didn't survive birth. So many possibilities to think through following all your scans... We wanted to be prepared to praise God, whatever the outcome. We also wanted to make the most of every minute we would have with you. But in preparing myself for all the worst case scenarios, I hadn't prepared myself for you being perfect. I was astounded, and so grateful to God. I have told your daddy that I wouldn't undo all the scans and worry for anything, because through all the unknowns, I have learnt so much and grown so much. I have been greatly humbled.

We are so very undeserving of you, Malakai. You are truly a gift from God. We pray daily that we can parent you in a way that is God honouring, and we pray that your life will always be a testimony to God's amazing grace. You have already been used to strengthen our faith and trust in God, as we have had to lean on Him more than ever in our journey to meeting you! I look forward to many many more years of leaning on God as we end the journey of meeting you, and begin the journey of raising you! Its gonna be an adventure!

All my love, 

Mamma xx

Full Term & Not in any rush!

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart, yet no one can fathom what he has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

Malakai, 

The world says this is your due date - but you and God seem to have your own ideas about that! I am happy knowing that you find me cosy enough that you want to stay in there so long! I am not sure how much longer my skin will be able to stretch though! 

From booking up until now I have gained a whopping 33lbs! I am dying to know how many of those pounds is pure Malakai! 

Keep growing little dude and enjoy being in there while you can, because you have to come out soon! If you are not here by the 17th, they are going to induce you - so I am really hoping you come before then on your own! We are so ready! In a month your Ouma and Oupa will be flying here from Zimbabwe to meet you, and all your family nearby is dying to hear about your arrival. Dont keep us waiting too long! 

Daddy talks to you ALL the time, and tries to convince you how fun life outside the womb is, in an effort to coax you out - to no avail! And he is not the only eager one. Everyone I run in to asks when you plan to show up!  (Dont know why they think I will know any more than they do!)

While we wait though, we grow to love you more and more. I think back to when you were just a little dot, and I was so scared we wouldn't make it this far - it has been such a journey, and you have made us fall more in love with you every week. We just know that meeting you is going to be the absolute melting of our hearts!

I am very excited to see how much of your daddy is in you - I think you will have his eyes and chin..you definitely have his laid back approach to life!

But mostly we are excited to see who Malakai is :) And the next time I blog, will be because you have arrived! I am so looking forward to writing that letter...it will be my favourite by far!!!

Love you little man!
Mamma xxxx

Growing, growing & more growing!!

Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name; make known among the nations what he has done. 1 Chronicles 16:8

Little man, Look at how far you have come!

You have been growing for a whole 38 weeks! Today was another scan day! No more scans for us!!!! Your'e doing so great! They estimate you at a whopping 8lbs!!!! and you still have 2 weeks to grow! How much bigger are you gonna get?! Of course, pictures of you are near impossible now because of how squished up you are in there!

Everything else on the scan seems to be much the same, and now we are just waiting for you to be here so we can know how you're doing! We are aching to hold you and waiting feels unending! 

The fluid around you is stable and you are ever so slightly engaged, so there is no rush to get you out - what a huge answer to prayer, because we know that you are safest in my belly for as long as possible! The fluid on your brain ventricles is unchanged, and when you are born they will need to do a brain ultrasound to know exactly what this will mean. But we are not worried, God has you in His care, and He has been faithful throughout! 

I feel BIG and heavy! Your growth sure stretches me out - its a wonder I am not bursting at the seams! I am uncomfortable, but I still LOVE growing you inside me! I love that you have a sleep pattern, and that I get to feel you respond to daddy's voice & how fruit makes you dance! You could be here in 2 weeks, or it could be as long as 4 weeks - but regardless, I am determined to savour these moments where its just us two! Before I have to share you with the world!

I cant wait to meet you Malakai....and I am aching to kiss your little cheeks!

Lots of love, 

Mamma xx

Celebrating You!!

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from our Father in heaven, who does not change like the shifting shadows... James 1:17

Malakai, 

36 Weeks along today - and the beginning of my maternity leave...its all getting very real! I am ever expanding.... I love seeing the constant growing - means you're doing great even if it does make me look like a hippo! 

Today we celebrated YOU! A little baby shower with close friends was thrown (By your wonderful aunt Becca!) I was very overwhelmed by how many people already love you and cant wait to meet you. It was wonderful to be surrounded by the lovely people that I know you will grow up knowing and loving. We feel so blessed to know that you have so many people looking out for you! God is incredibly good!

You were spoiled and you are not even earthside yet! We cant wait until you are actually here to make use of all these gifts :) 

You are our good and perfect gift from God - we cannot wait to have you in our arms!

Keep growing strong little man, there is lots of love and fun waiting for you here!!

Mamma xxx