The countdown has really begun!

He is the maker of heaven and earth, the sea and everything in them- He remains faithful forever! Psalm 146:6

My little man,

Here we are...32 weeks you and I - 32 weeks of growing you and loving you and hoping for you. All the while not knowing if each week would be the last, or whether it would bring us that much closer to finally holding you in our arms.

As I sit here I can feel you kicking, I think you are frustrated with the lack of space! I am extra aware of how cramped it is in there for you now, because today we had another growth scan and I have to be honest, I cant tell what I am looking at in this picture of you... I can see your umbilical cord and your knee...but your face is hard to see now!

You are BIG. 4lb 8oz is what they estimate right now. Crazy considering you still have a LOT of time to grow! The good news from the scan today, is that your heart and kidneys still look good. There are no visible issues. We are still faced with the borderline unilateral ventriculomegaly on your left ventricle. But it hasn't increased, which is a huge relief. Your left side is 10mm, which is almost double the right side, at 5.5mm, I'ts scary because until you come, we just don't know what this means...or if it even will have any importance. So for now, we have to just continue to trust God. He is faithful. He has been faithful throughout this pregnancy... and every time I think about you, I thank God for all his many blessings. All the things about you that he has made unique and special and perfect in His eyes. In our eyes too. We could not love you more little man, you are everything we have ever hoped for.

I can hardly believe that we are into the last 8 weeks of waiting. It finally feels like we are close to meeting you! Keep growing strong, we pray for you every day, and we love you more than we ever thought possible.

Love,
Mama xx

The fifth dimension is love!

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinithians 5:17 (ESV)

Dear Kai,

We've seen you!

I know we've already seen you a lot but this time was different! Momma organised a special scan so that we could see you in 4D! It was pretty thrilling! Your momma had shown me photos of scans of other babies but I wasn't sure what you were going to look like. I guess I was a little nervous. With all the worries that we have had over the last few months I wasn't sure what to expect. It was good to feel all those worries disappear when we saw your little face for the first time.

Your momma and I have spent a lot of time talking about you, our hopes for your future, the consequences of scan results and what they may mean for you, lots of possibilities and "What if...?" questions. But to see your face reminded me of how very blessed we are to have you in our lives, even though you're still not going to be born for another 3 months!

God has been challenging me since your momma and I got married, that being a parent is tough because, even though we know that you are our child, we don't know you yet!

It seems like a funny thing to say, but it's good for us to remember that, as much as I may want you to be like your momma, or like your Grandma or your Oupa, the person you will be most like is... YOU! You are a unique person, created by our loving Creator and as you grow I hope that I never forget that your destiny is not to be like me, ("Jonny Jr." as some might say) but your destiny is to be a beautiful creation, dearly loved by God and a person that Jesus thought was worth dying for.

We pray every day that God will give us the strength, courage and humility to help you be a new creation!

You are a joy to behold, my son, and I will treasure every moment that you are in my life.

Daddy xx

God is faithful...

Your love O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness, to the skies. 

Psalm 36:5

Little Man, 

We're in the third trimester! Yay!! Today we went for another growth scan to make sure that your'e growing right, and to check up on the extra fluid on your brain! 

On the way to the hospital there was a big rainbow over Sheffield. It reminded me of Gods promises, and His faithfulness. I was filled with peace knowing that God has you in the palm of His hand...and though we know NOTHING, He knows everything about you already! 

You are NOT so little any more! Since we last saw you you have more than doubled in size! I am blown away. You are 27+2 and weighing in at 2lb10!! That is HUGE! I am so proud of all the growing you have done! (Partly due to all the ice lollies I have been eating I am sure!) You have gone from being below the 25th Percentile in limb length and weight, to being above the 50th Percentile! This fills us with so much joy, to know your'e growing at the right rate! 

Most excitingly, the unilateral ventriculomegaly (fluid on the left side of your brain) has reduced! Its now measuring 10mm, which is borderline! We are so grateful for this, and really surprised! :) You still have a great heart too! Its beating away at a great rate! 

You seem to be pretty laid back... I mean, you never keep still, but somehow you still looked like you were on a summer holiday in there with your little legs crossed and looking so chilled out! Taking after your dad more and more each time we see you! 

You growing on the inside means me ever expanding on the outside! I feel bigger every day, but not sure its hugely noticeable, but my belly button has gone from being an 'inny' to being almost an 'outy!' - weird!

Keep growing strong lil man! Only about 12 weeks til we get to hold you in our arms, we can hardly wait! 

Mama x 

Malakai the messenger! :)

"I have loved you," says the LORD - Malachi 1:2

My boy,

This is your dad speaking! It's so exciting that, even though you're not going to be born for another 15 weeks, your mama tells me you can hear me so I can talk to you and you can hear me!!!! I am often asking you how your day is going and why you're kicking so much! It makes your mama uncomfortable but she loves it so much.

I wanted to tell you a little bit about your name and why we have chosen it for you. As you know, we've been thinking about you and talking about you since before you were even a little twinkle in your mother's eye, so we have been thinking about what name we would give you for a long time. After a lot of thoughts and ideas, (some that your mama REALLY didn't like!) we decided on the name...

Malakai

We decided on the African spelling with a "k" to remind you that you are an African boy and that Zimbabwe will always be part of your heritage. I hope that we can go there together some day and visit your Ouma and Oupa! Malakai/Malachi comes from the Hebrew name meaning "my messenger". Malachi (the prophet) was sent by God to bring a message to the people of Israel. On the whole it was not a message that they wanted to hear, as it was a warning about what happens when you disobey God, but also it speaks about how one day soon Jesus will come to save all those who believe in him!!!

But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays. - Malachi 4:2a

Your mamma and I are praying for you that you will come to know for yourself the amazing truth that Jesus gladly gave his life for YOU! He died to save you so that you can live forever with your perfect Heavenly dad! We are so excited about the privilege of teaching you about all the wonderful things God has done and continues to do in our lives. We pray that you will be "His messenger" and a witness in the world of the glorious promises of God.

My boy, I praise the Lord for you! I hope that, when you read this, you know who Jesus is and you accept for yourself  the free gift of LIFE that he offers to all who believe in Him.

I love you with my whole heart,

Daddy   x

Busy week ahead!

And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those that love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Malakai, 

You are 24 weeks! I am so excited to reach viability week! I am so excited by all the growing you have
been doing! Your'e so so big now! You stretch right across my belly!! I can feel when you do a big stretch, I can feel you hiccuping all the time! I can tell when you elbow me, when you kick me, and even when you stick your little butt out! I know when your'e sleeping and awake! You never seem to stop moving...your'e gonna keep us on our toes I can tell! I wasn't prepared for just how much I would know about you before you even arrived!! Its pretty cool! You have stretched my tummy right out and given me some serious stretch marks... my tiger stripes I like to think! :) a nice reminder that your'e growing big in there!

We have a meeting on Wednesday with our consultant to discuss more about you and your health. Then a midwife appointment on Friday too! So its kind of a busy week all about you! I feel so at peace about you, I know that God has you in the palm of His hand, He loves you, and He has BIG plans for you! 

Its also downs syndrome awareness week this week, which I only know about because of the possibility that you may have downs syndrome. We don't know the outcome for you just yet, but I do know already that God is using this situation, and this time of waiting, for good. 

We are so blessed, and our lives are so enriched by you already Malakai... Your'e not even here yet and you have taught us to see the world in a different way! I am so glad that we have you as our son... already, I cannot imagine life without you in it! 

Love,  

Mama