Halfway and kicking!

Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength! Nehemiah 8:10

Malakai! We are halfway!! Way-to-go little man! That's quite the milestone!

This week was also the first time I caught your little kicks on camera. They are very little, but they are indeed there! You never stop kicking.... its constant! I even caught a game of poke on camera...I poke and you kick... I love it!

You are gonna be one active little boy, I can tell! I don't think anyone is quite as excited as I am about your kicking... but that's ok :) Every kick brings a smile to my face! Everytime I tell your daddy that you kicked me, he says 'thats ma boy!' - He thinks he is so funny!

Everyone notices my belly now, so I get lots of questions about you. Sometimes I don't know what to say. People ask me about how sick I feel, or if I hate any food or smells. This all seems so trivial to me when I am constantly thinking about all the possible problems you could have with your health. No-one seems to want to talk about the fact that you could have downs syndrome. And almost everyone brushes this away. Like mass denial. People tell me not to think about something that might not even happen. But how can I not think about it. Your'e my little boy, I want to be ready for you in every way I can. I want to help you as much as I can! I need to know that I have prepared as best I can for my child. I think some people see this as dwelling on the negative.

I know there is still every chance that your'e just fine. But its so hard to process all the what ifs! Trying so hard to hand it all over to God every day.

I love you little man!
Mama

Over the moon...

Your love oh Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness reaches to the skies! Psalm 36:5

Little Malakai, 

Oh my! I am so proud of you! You are growing from strength to strength. I cant believe how big you have got! It amazes me! You are the cutest kid on the block - and we LOVE watching you wiggle about in there! You already have your mama's nose, and your daddy's tummy :) 

They couldn't tell us anything we didn't already know... which is great...nothing new to worry about! Your heart still seems great, and that makes me so very happy! God is so very good. I thank Him for every day that we have with you. 

Daddy and I left the scan today so elated :) seeing you always gives us such a buzz. We love you with our whole hearts little man. Although we only get to see you on scan once in a while, we are daily reminded of your presence because of how big and round my belly is getting! You keep making yourself known! 

Love, 

Mama

Moments of Weakness...

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

My Little Malakai, 

Your'e not feeling so little anymore..you are growing so much and so fast! I love watching you get bigger. Its so exciting. I try so hard to keep focussed on these little joys. Feeling you move, hearing your heartbeat and seeing my bump grow... but its so so hard not to worry about you. You are our little miracle and we constantly worry about what might be wrong. 

I pray for you still, every night. That God would keep growing you BIG and strong. 

I have been busying myself getting your room ready for you (with your daddy's help)... now that we know your'e a boy it means that we can add a little boy touch to it :) Its been so fun getting ready for you, and I can't wait til your'e here and using your room, even if it means crying at 3am! :)

Just four days now until we get to see you again - we have another scan. I can barely wait, I bet you have grown heaps!

All my love, 

Mama

Our little BOY!!!

I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart, I will glorify your name! Psalm 86:12

Little Bean,

You are infact our little boy! I am so excited that we can finally call you by your name. Malakai Daniel Greaves! We love our little boy so much! Your daddy's face was priceless when we found out, I so wish I had my camera at hand to capture it. He is so proud of his boy. 

             

                                                         
You didn't pose very well, so we didnt get a great picture, only a lil snap of your ickle nose! But we treasure it anyway :)

There was some good news, and some, not great news. But the biggest excitement for me is that your heart looks perfect so far! They also can't find any structural abnormalities. But they did say you have a small nasal bone, and a two vessel umbilical cord, which are both soft markers for downs syndrome. 

They are booking us in for another scan soon so that they can try see why your'e missing an artery in your cord, it could be nothing, but mainly they want to make sure your kidneys are ok. 

I am a little worried about these new findings, but mainly praising God for how well the scan went, and how well your strong little heart is doing! 

We are so proud of you little man, keep growing big and strong! 

Love, 

Mama

15 Weeks! I will be seeing you soon!

Trust in the Lord  with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

Little bean - this is the last time I will write to you without knowing whether your'e a boy or a girl! That is of course, if you co-operate and show us your bits! I am getting anxious. Just under a week until we get to see you. We really want to see if your heart is ok, they worry about that in babies with chromosomal abnormalities. They will be measuring all your little bones and checking your kidneys and face. 

Deep Breaths. Trust in the Lord. 

I am beginning to feel snug in regular clothes - I may need to get maternity clothes in a few weeks! This may be you growing, but I know what's adding to it! All that extra food, my appetite is through the roof!

I am beginning to feel you. I sure its not my imagination... it amazes me that someone so little can make their presence known! I am so proud of your strength! I don't want people to think I am going crazy just yet, so I will keep news of your movement between us until you start to kick harder ;) 

Oscar loves using you as a pillow, I think you two will be inseperable when you finally get here! :) I will have to teach him that sleeping on your head is not acceptable when you are here!

I love you little bean, and can NOT wait to see you again soon...

Love, 

Mama